Blood is thicker than detergent

Sometimes you have to wonder, what’s the point of it all? Success? Money? Love? Fulfillment? Answers?  

Do we try to be ourselves or do we set ourselves aside and try to be the best we can?

Do we follow our instincts or do we curb our enthusiasm to achieve emotional maturity?

Do we search for the one or do we become the one?

The answer is choice.

But do we have a choice or do we choose to?

All these circular questions are supposed to come from a conversation with a cousin this afternoon. We used to be close, I always have and still think that she’s one of the few kin I have I can really relate to.  But since we first bonded during our teens life happened. College, relationships, marriage, motherhood for her, living abroad for me. Life. Then this afternoon while my underwear was being sorted in her laundromat we talked.

And we still have pretty much the same thoughts. It’s surprising because I thought our differences made us, well, different. So we talked about family, our lives, and more family. And she was the same cousin I connected with so many years ago.

And as usual after good talks, I ponder. After discussing other people’s lives you start looking at your own. And while you’ll always be this good looking, you remember who you set out to be.

I remember my previous post and while it thankfully it doesn’t resonate as much anymore, it still holds truth because it happened. But there are still blessings to be counted, minor victories to be celebrated. Because someday they will win the war. And I will be me, good looking as ever.

limbo

I've been itching to write something lately, and there is no shortage of topics to dwell or rant on, but it's only now that I've blogged on because I might have hit upon what's been bugging me. Limbo.

At this point in my life -- with the magazine, badminton, creative realizations, parental freedom, and other things happening, I should be in a renaissance of sorts. A renewed man with a more firm grip on life so to speak.

But the powers of sloth are not easily reckoned with. And more to that, I learned something from Manay today that really left an imprint on me. I wish there were a better way I could confront my demons. I wish I were a more willfull person who didn't always rely on creativity as an approach to life. I wish.

I have seen what procrastination and unwillingness to confront responsibility can do. But it's frustrating to see your target just in front and you have nothing to ram it with. You can almost see it taunting you, it knows you can vanquish it but knowing and doing are two different things altogether. It's separates people into who they are and who they could be.

And that's it. I don't want to be just someone who can dish out killer retorts or gut-busting captions. I tell myself I'm better than that. But am I truly or do I just tell myself that so I can take comfort that there's still untapped potential left in me?

Another day has begun. It beckons with new challenges. I don't even know what voice to use. But I will be heard.