cogs of top gear

September 9, 2005
Tanay, Rizal
Ford Everest
Bodies weary, spirits high
The drive home

Catch Me If You Can

It’s been some time since I fell for someone. There were even times when I wondered if I’d still fall for someone at all. Women were too irrational, unstable, illogical, and unpredictable to have a long-term relationship with. It’s like trying be with weapons grade plutonium; tricky to handle, you never know when it’s gonna blow, and being with it will steadily kill you.

But it happened with the most unlikely of people. There weren’t even sparks in the beginning. After all the hype about her she turned out to be this wisp of a girl who liked giving corny retorts. But she was... smooth. Not the best of adjectives to use, especially from someone whose tools of the trade are words, but that’s what she is. Cool as ice, but grounded enough that she doesn’t believe she’s too cool.

Like whineybaby said, life is fun if you don’t take yourself too seriously, and she definitely was that. Not that life was easy on her, but unlike some people in my past, she didn’t turn life’s lemons into acrid citrus juice. Instead she made lemonade, a cool drink that parches your thirst for something, someone real in a sea of people trying to live up to expectations other than their own.

And I fell. Not hard, but the fact itself stupefies me. And it’s good that I didn’t fall hard, because as life would have it (especially mine), she’s spoken for. Why? Because it would have been too easy. Oh no, it can’t be easy for me. Because I’m special. Yup. I’m not like the ordinary joes and their fake reality shows. My life has been special and real, and for fear of courting a real taste of what life can dish out, I’m also blessed.

And each year on this planet shows me more and more the blessings I have received. Because while my thoughts may think of her every now and then, it has not, and most probably will not, snowball into a melodramatic miasma of life that can be featured in Maalaala Mo Kaya. Charo Santos-Concio will probably have fits of laughter trying to find the tear-gushing drama Filipino primetime wants in my life story.

So I’m ok, I’m fine. I have my loved ones, I have my friends, and she’s welcome to join the latter, if not romantically the former. And I’ll be more blessed knowing she’s in either group. Even if she’s not, I already learned from this experience and a small albeit growing part of me is already excited for the time when I feel the sensation again. Only this time, it might be for real.

I sound like the poor emotional schmucks I’ve always pitied.